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It’s Not an Adventure Till Everything Goes Wrong
The past week has been a whirlwind of unexpected events and challenges. But we are back and alive and relatively unscathed. It seems every time we leave the house we can count on things going sideways in one way or another. Remember what Bilbo used to say, “Its a dangerous business, Frodo, going out your door. You step onto the road, and if you don’t keep your feet, there’s no knowing where you might be swept off to.” This is the story of our lives. To paraphrase one of my favorite quotes from legendary adventurer and founder of Patagonia, Yvon Chouinard, It’s not an adventure till everything goes wrong. So this is a quick recap of my first camping adventure of 2020. Another trip into the wilderness that didn’t go according to plan but was better for it.
The word adventure has gotten overused. For me, when everything goes wrong - that's when adventure starts
It's Not an Adventure Until Everything Goes Wrong
My best friend and college roommate Dave recently moved from Los Angeles back up to Olympia, Washington. It was hard to see him go but it was for good reasons. He first moved to LA to pursue acting, which is not easy even in the best case scenario. But with everything shutting down due to COVID-19 he got out while the gettin was good to pursue another dream and reassess the acting career. As we all know, our best laid plans often go awry and we must learn to roll with the punches. Things didn’t go exactly according to plan, at least not yet. Life likes to keep us on our toes.
The stress of isolation, moving, and everything else on top of every day life put a hole in the boat, and Dave is the kind of guy who will take action and start bailing water, even if its coming in faster than he can bail it out. We know that stress well. So I told him stop bailing, put a plug in the boat and lets go camping. This is a tradition for us. When life gets us backed into a corner and we cant see a clear path out we step away from everything and head for the hills to reassess the situation, take a breather and gain some new perspective.
Our camping trips are a little unorthodox. We don’t spend a lot of time planning and reserving a spot in a campground. We practice bugging out. 15 minutes to grab gear, throw it into the car and go. Whatever we have is what we have and if we forgot something then we’ll figure it out. We practice survival skills and learn to make due with what we have because when life happens you won’t always be prepared for it.
Sometimes you just need to get into the wild and have a reset
I grew up camping and hiking, going off into the bush. Running free like Tom Sawyer and Huck Finn. Being out in nature is my happy place. But after a while camping over holiday weekends or with family and friends got old. I needed to shake things up so I began going on solo trips. After a while I started planning my trips for bad weather and harsh conditions. Adding a few extra miles every time and exploring off trail in wilderness territory. Sometimes packing less food or going without a tent to practice survival skills.
There is nothing quite like the first time you sleep alone in the woods, completely isolated from society, and without a tent. You become hyper aware of every sound and the forest suddenly becomes a much wilder place. But then you wake up the next day and realize you are alive and fear seems a bit smaller. I go off into the woods to reset. Unplugged and isolated with only my thoughts and the sounds of creation to keep me company. Every step must be taken carefully; every action must be thought out. Being twenty miles from the nearest sign of civilization, even a minor injury could spell disaster. It’s not an adventure till everything goes wrong, and the wild plays for keeps. But coming down from the mountain I am filled with new life because I overcame real immediate challenges.
Danielle calls these my “Moses Trips” because I go up onto the mountain to be alone with God. To sit in the silence of creation and listen for His words of fire igniting my soul. When I come down I am not only more heavily bearded, but am filled joy, perspective, and a new sense of purpose. In the city surrounded by the hustle and bustle of our stressful everyday lives its hard to think, let alone listen to what God is saying. I am too easily distracted. But alone in the wilderness, when the world is quiet, I hear him speak, often through the challenges I encounter along the way. When I’m out of my comfort zone and decisions can have life or death consequences, the challenges of daily life suddenly seem much more doable. More about all this another time, for now I’m focusing on this past weekend and when everything went wrong.
Let the Adventure Begin
The car was haphazardly loaded and we were ready to go. One block down the road and I remembered I forgot some of the food and possibly the tent. Forget it, we’ll figure it out. Two hours later we are driving down a “paved” mountain road when we run into a lot of sheriff, CalFire, and US Forest Service trucks. Turns out they were searching for a missing woman who was last seen in the area a few days prior. We told them where we were going to be and said if we see anything we’ll let them know. A quarter mile down the road we see signs that the bridge is out. The bridge that is less than 100 yards from the old mining trail we were planning to take. So close.
I turn the car around and head for another unmarked road that will take us on a 15 mile detour to get to where we want to be. But 100 yards down that road and I hear the unmistakable sound of air rapidly leaving a tire. Great. Middle of nowhere and we have a blowout.
I’ve been in this situation before. These back roads are filled with jagged slate that can destroy a tire easily. I’ve changed many a tire on these roads. Only this time I notice the place in the trunk where our spare should be is not holding a spare tire, but is instead holding a toddler size plastic car. Definitely the wrong size tires. But, it’s not an adventure till everything goes wrong. We would have called for roadside assistance if we were anywhere near cell range, but we are in wilderness territory and I get bad service even in town. So we have to look at our options and come up with a quick game plan.
Time to Reassess the Situation
I am now stressed. Dave is having a blast. This is exactly what we came up here for, he says. We sit and look at the situation and put together a game plan. The search and rescue base camp is only a mile away, maybe they have some fix a flat and a compressor on one of their trucks. So we start walking.
Halfway there a government truck drives up to us and we explain the situation. The driver says he is willing to bend the rules and has enough room for one person to make a one way trip to town. Dave goes because I don’t want to leave him stranded in an unfamiliar place for an unknown amount of time with firearms not registered to him in the car. I tell him to call my wife when he gets to the nearest town and my family will be able to help. Dave decides to ride down with the tire rim on his lap and says he’ll figure it out.
My stress level is still high but I have endless faith in Dave’s ability to get things done in a pinch. He is the first and only person I have ever know besides my wife that I would trust with my life, no questions asked. So off he goes with no guaranteed way back and I am left alone on the side of the road.
I'm Already Stuck Here. Might As Well Help
I talk with a few Sheriff Deputies for a bit. I tell them I’m stuck here for a while and if there is anything I can do to help let me know. They say that they don’t really allow random people to join in the search and rescue operations for legal and safety reasons. I explain to them I’ve been hiking and camping in this exact area most of my life and I know the area well. Besides, most of the emergency team that was there was not from the area.
They talk among themselves for a few minutes then say, “sure, why not, you know the area and we could use the help.” We go over the map of their search grids and they send me to an area near where our car was at that they haven’t searched yet. Armed with my go-bag, a map, and a radio, I head off into the wilderness to begin searching.
For the next three hours I meticulously comb over my grid area looking for any sign of human activity. This is not an easy task and the terrain is rugged and unforgiving. I finish my area and check in with the camp and let them know that the area is clear. As I sit back by the car to eat a snack and refill my water a white Pontiac pulls up and out jumps Dave! He made it back. Much faster than I expected. Honestly I was picturing him being homeless on the streets of Oakhurst, California for a night, just hugging that tire until morning. Dave isn’t one to give up.
This Adventure is Shaping Up Quite Nicely
Dave had been dropped off at one of the only auto shops in town and as luck would have it they were able to put on a new tire no problem. He explained the situation to the shop owner and asked if he knew of anyone that could give him a ride back up the hill. It was a long shot, but there was a guy named Troy who loves driving up in the hills that was at the end of his shift that jumped at the chance. So Dave and Troy made the 2 hour drive back up and got the new wheel put on as if this were an everyday occurrence. I was shocked. I did not expect things to go that smoothly.
We invited Troy to join us. After all he had just driven Dave to the middle of nowhere off the clock because he likes driving in the hills. We make dinner, shoot some guns and sit around a fire telling stories till late in the evening with our new friend. It was like three old friends just hanging out camping. He ended up having to head back home to his girlfriend and their young daughter but we will never forget what he did for us. The world needs more people like Troy. Genuinely nice, honest, friendly people who are willing to help strangers with a glad heart.
Dave and I stay up talking for a bit then decide to turn in. We were planning to just sleep on the ground but we happened to break down right near the ant metropolis where there was only inches between every anthill for the entire area. Luckily we did have a tent after all, only problem is it was a “2 person” tent that fits one short person comfortably. Whatever, we cram ourselves in and sleep with the door zipped down to our knees with the lower half of our legs sticking out the door. At least the ground was flat.
The Next Day
After a rough but much needed sleep we were woken up by the intense heat of a small tent directly in the path of the sun. Being baked alive is no way to wake up. We re-hydrate and begin breaking camp and throwing everything back into the car. I realize now how out of shape I have gotten during COVID isolation. Our bodies are sore and tired. Is this what getting old feels like?
After talking to another Deputy for a bit, we rejoin the search. There are more searchers today so we cover some area near our camp before heading out to search along the back roads. We know the woman was last seen on the road, so odds are she would still be close to one. Dave and I drove up and down almost every road that the car could safely handle, getting out to search areas as we went, and jumping into cold streams to wash the dust and sweat off.
We were filthy, exhausted, beat up, and Dave had to be back in town to catch a flight by the next morning. At this point the search had grown and they were using National Guard helicopters to cover more area. There was nothing more we could really add to the efforts so we decided to start our trip back to Fresno before anything else went wrong now that we have a deadline to get back.
Sometimes We Must Go Through the Wilderness to get to the Promised Land
Life has a way of wearing us down. Day after day we add straws to our back like camels, wondering which one will be the final straw that breaks us. I read an old Jewish proverb once that says, “Lord, I ask not for a lighter load but for broader shoulders.” This stuck with me for a long time. I believed I could carry the weight of the world and that God would give me the strength to always carry more. But that’s not the way it works. God gives us strength to carry on but our mistake is thinking we just need to be stronger to do it alone. Doing the same things every day, slowly adding weight to the baggage is no way to live and eventually we all find our breaking point.
I go into the wilderness to be reminded that I am not a camel. That I was not created to be a beast of burden. I was created to love and be loved as a child of God bearing his image. I go into the wilderness to be tested. To see what I am made of and find strength in solitude, away from the constant dripping of stress, slowly eroding my spirit. God led the Israelite’s out of bondage and promised them a home. They only needed to trust him, listen and follow him into the promised land. But time in the wilderness tests us to our very limits and reveals what is buried deep within our hearts.
Jesus went into the wilderness often to find solitude and spend time with his Father. He was tested and prevailed. He found solace in the peaceful quiet of the wild. Time away from the noise of life to be alone and pray. When God called Moses onto the mountain he didn’t say, “Hey Moses, meet me on the mountain, I want to tell you something real quick.” He called Moses to come be on the mountain and be with him. It was a call to be with God in the solitude of his creation, away from distraction and life’s daily stresses.
As a parent of a child on the autism spectrum life is filled with unexpected challenges and endless stress. Nothing ever goes according to plan. But it’s not an adventure till everything goes wrong. Isolation was our thing before it was popular. And leaving the house for something as simple as getting groceries is a roll of the dice.
As parents of a child with a disability the stress of daily life is multiplied tenfold. We carry that stress like a pack mule, steadfast in our ability to always carry more. For the sake of our children we become like ducks, calm and cool on top but paddling like hell underneath. This is not sustainable. No one can tread water forever. Sometimes we need to step back from everything, find some solitude, reassess the situation, offload some baggage and recharge so we can be the parents our children deserve. Not everyone has a vast wilderness in their backyard. But there is always a place nearby that you can find peace and quiet.
I encourage everyone reading this to take some time to find solitude. Life is an adventure and if you are going to survive you need to learn how to take a step back and reassess the situation, formulate a plan, make a back up, recharge a bit and head back into the fray. Give yourself a chance to get refueled and let that fire in your soul get stoked a bit. Take some time for yourself when you can. A burnt out parent is no good for their children or their partner. Self care is vital to our survival and should not be forfeit because there are more important things to do. Learn to love and care for yourself and teach your families to do the same. Because when everything in life goes wrong and the adventure begins, you will be thankful you took the time.
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