Eight Years of Adventure

A common theme on our site is the simple fact that things don’t always go according to plan. This is neither good or bad, its just a fact. We also say that adventure begins when things go wrong. Danielle and I are living testaments to this statement. Ask any of my former girlfriends and I’m sure they would agree that I should come with a warning. Insert grain of salt. But the truth is, eight years later, Danielle and I are standing side by side, face into the wind, steadfast in our commitment and living as a testament to what we meant when we said, “I do.”

This is the story of Brooks and Danielle. Like any good adventure or love story we have to start at the beginning.

Brooks and Dani, The Early Years

As we’ve talked about before Danielle and I met at Trinity Western University in Langley, British Columbia. What we didn’t say is how we met and got to where we are now. Danielle was a pre-med student at the time. I was studying Intercultural Religion. I was studying this because at the time I was a punk rock burnout who didn’t believe in anything so I figured studying religion would be a good way to gain some knowledge and make an informed decision on what I believe.

Attending a private Christian university was not high on my life’s to do list, but my father was hired by the university to do their US development among prospective students, athletes, alumni, and donors. His employment with the school granted me free tuition. With my high school grades my best bet was community college if I was lucky. So I took the opportunity and packed my things to go to a school I’ve never heard of in the Great White North.

Things Didn’t Go According to Plan Pretty Fast

Danielle’s mother also worked for the university in the same department as my dad. Together they schemed and hatched plans to introduce us. Plans that failed miserably. On my first day in Canada we were supposed to meet their family for dinner. Something came up and they couldn’t make it. Then they tried to set up another time for us to meet but I think I slept through that. This happened a few times to no avail and our parents stopped trying.

Then, in our combined biology lecture hall class, a group was giving a presentation on something I don’t remember. I just remember looking up and seeing a girl up front who I thought was cute and may or may not have made an off color comment about to my friend. Class ends and our professor makes an announcement about the upcoming midterm exams. Seeing my shot I go and ask this girls if she’d like to join our study group.

Boom. Fireworks

Just kidding. I thought she was hot and decided to shoot out of my league. So I told the guys who were gonna be there to be cool and to not make me look like an idiot. Flawless plan. Until we were joined by a guy from my dorm who was a Bio major and another guy who was the epitome of annoying little brother who was also definitely high and hopped up on several energy drinks. This is the point that adventure begins. The study group was a failure, we all looked like idiots, and I’m pretty sure we came out dumber than we went in. Oh well. Can’t win em all.

But… against all odds she had fun and wanted to hang out again some time. Overtime win is still a check in the win column. That some time she spoke of was just happened to be the following weekend which just so happened to be

Halloween!

I’m a firm believer that if you want a girl to remember you take her on a first date that is memorable. So that morning I call her up and ask if she has any plans. She says, “not really, there’s a barn party at this guys house but that’s it.” Deal. I tell her to pick me up at 7:00 on campus (I was international and didn’t have a car at the time) and “wear a costume cause we’re going trick or treating!”

Yup. Our first date was trick or treating. What girl wouldn’t remember that as a first date? The fact that this plan had zero forethought and neither of us really had a costume didn’t matter. I threw on my leather jacket, she wore a black tutu skirt thing and leather jacket and I’ll just say we dressed as Sid and Nancy but with with energy. The barn party was fun. She tried to climb up on a giant ball only to fall backwards. Like a scene from a bad rom-com she fell right into my arms. We went trick or treating in the fancy neighborhoods where they give out the king size candy bars and filled our pillowcases with enough sweets to turn us into Wilfred Brimley.

The Bounce House Talk

Fast forward a few months and things are getting serious. Our relationship was no longer casual dating. The adventure had begun. We’ve crossed the line into exclusivity and are coming up on the time do define the relationship. Defining the relationship is a serious task and should not be taken lightly.

I thought up an idea when I was much younger that to this day I still believe works and should be shared. In every past relationship I’ve had that made it to this point I prepared a simple compatibility test. We would discuss whether this relationship was just for fun or if we are serious enough to work towards a lasting commitment and marriage. On two occasions it was the latter. So, with that in mind, I would get very serious in tone, say they should probably sit for this, and say, with total cold deadpan delivery, “If we are serious about marriage being on the table for our future there is something I need to tell you. I have known since I was little….that there will be a bouncy castle at my wedding. This is non negotiable, take it or leave it.”

They looked like I was going to tell them I’m terminal. But then a look of confusion would replace the shock and both times I said this I got the same response with the same expression

I knew in that moment she was not the one. It didn’t matter if we actually had a bouncy castle. What mattered was whether or not she could accept me for who I am and all my silliness. The idea of something as silly and trivial as a bounce house was not an acceptable compromise for them, but they didn’t want to just say no outright.

She is the One

This theory proved true when a few years later Danielle and I had the same talk. Everything was the same except her reaction. When I said it she didn’t have standard look of disapproval. She didn’t say, “We’ll see.” Danielle took a moment to think. Then she looked me right in the eyes and said, “I’ll see your bounce house, and I’ll raise you a Velcro wall.” If I had a ring in my pocket I would have dropped to a knee right then. I was in shock. This is it! She is the one! Danielle spoke my language and understood me. She loved me for me. She wanted to be a part of the adventure with me. Danielle wanted our future to be the best of both of us, not just her dream wedding with me as a supporting character.

The Big Day

Three years later at our wedding we did not have a bouncy castle.

Everywhere we looked was out of stock or they were outrageously expensive. Danielle and I had decided to try and not spend a fortune on our wedding. We made everything we could by hand. Collected stuff from thrift stores and estate sales, and had help of friends and family who blessed us with some really cool stuff. Like a 1929 Model A that her uncle had finished restoring only a few weeks prior. He told her years before we met that it would be done in time for her wedding.

It was important to us to make our wedding our own. A reflection of our personalities and love for doing things with our own hands. It was also important to establish a habit of fixing broken things. We wanted to focus on saving money and not just replacing stuff when it got old. Why waste a ton of money and go into debt right at the beginning of starting a life together? Why start a habit of giving up on things when all they need is a little work to be like new again?

It was a beautiful day full of whimsy and weirdness. We were blessed to have so many people make the journey all the way from California to Canada to celebrate with us. We we blessed with an incredible photographer named Alexandra Hunt to capture the true magic of the day. She even did our engagement and the first photos of our daughter Tova and has since become a cherished friend.

Building a Foundation of Not Giving Up

Doing it ourselves and making everything by hand was a great primer for what life had in store for us. Seeing something that was broken or worn out and learning how to restore it and make it useful again became an invaluable skill. Things didn’t go according to plan and we learned to just roll with it and figure it out. If only we knew this would become a major theme in our life together.

I know we have grown closer and become stronger for it. Because life hasn’t always gone according to plan. We’ve had a lot of detours in this adventure and more than a few dragons to slay. We’re not even out of the tunnel yet and every day is still a struggle. But I would not give it up for the world because I have the best partner I could ever hope to have by my side.

To Infinity and Beyond

Now, eight years later, we are still fighting back to back, us against the world. A beautiful adventure mixed with a comedy of errors. We’re like Lucy Lawless and Kevin Sorbo only better. More like Clarence and Alabama Worley in True Romance.

This week marked our eight year anniversary. A day that passed like any other. No big gifts, no special date, not even a decent amount of time alone. But that’s where our life is right now. Our circumstances are not ideal. We have a lot of challenges to deal with daily. But in the end its just a day that reminds us that we made a commitment before God and our dearest friends and family that we will be in this together, no matter what, until death. We celebrate our wedding every day when we get up in the morning for the fourth time that night and charge back into the next round. Each day is an exercise in loving and supporting the other. Building each other up and proving that when we said, “I do” we meant it.

It’s not an adventure until things go wrong. Danielle, this has been one hell of an adventure. As tired and worn out as we are, I cannot wait to see what comes next. I cannot wait to see what God has in store for our family. You are the definition of a soulmate. I am blessed and excited to charge into every part of this adventure beside you. Happy Anniversary my Love!