Please Stand By for Our Regular Dis-regulation

Welcome to the first installment of a new ongoing serial of weekly stories we call Our Regular Dis-Regulation. Its hard to keep up with everything going on in life and sometimes the minor events of a Monday are only the catalyst for the complete progressive meltdown that reaches critical mass on Thursday. So as we trudge through the minefield of daily life and reflect back on the insanity of the week we will be updating you with stories of regular dis-regulation that families not affected by Autism Spectrum Disorder may not realize is part of our every day life.

Episode 1: The Flood

A couple days ago I awoke after being up most of the night with Tova when the medication prescribed to help her sleep had the opposite effect. As I groggily stumbled towards the kitchen I noticed the all too familiar sensation many parents experience of standing in something wet. Only it wasn’t a small puddle and it wasn’t the usual sticky feeling. When my eyes finally open I realize that I am standing in a rather large puddle, perhaps even a small pond…in our laundry room.

“Well this can’t be good.” I think, as I will my legs to walk into the living room and notify my parents of the recent water feature I do not believe they know was added to their house. Without hesitation everyone snaps into action grabbing towels, fans, and children now happily splashing in puddles. The drain hose from the washing machine had become detached and had dumped a surprising amount of water all over the floor. Looks like the offending load needed the extra rinse. After the water was soaked up and the fans were blowing we shared in a sense of relief. At least we caught it fast. Crisis averted.

Hahaha, right. If you’ve read my work before you know that we typically don’t get off that easy. If we did then there would be no point in writing about it. Seriously we need cameras put up like a reality show because there isn’t enough time in the day to write about all the unnecessarily story worthy misadventures in our daily lives.

A Little Backstory

So about eight years ago my parents had another flood. This one involving the toilets. It was much larger than the most recent flood and required them to replace the flooring in nearly the entire house. The contractors that did the work were not great. The first floor was linoleum so thin that walking across it tore holes. So they replaced it with laminate flooring. Only it was the wrong material and was definitely not waterproof, which is what you definitely do not want in your bathroom, laundry room, and kitchen. By this point my parents and sister had been living in a hotel for long enough and did not want to wait for round three. So they took the “oops” discount and moved back in.

Fast forward a few years and here we are. Watching the “waterproof” laminate floor do its best impression of a sponge. Bubbles began to form. The seams and joints expanded into little ramps for the girls’ Hot Wheels. Our previously level floor now looked like a topographical map of Iowa. Time to call the insurance company and start praying.

We Now Return to our Regular Dis-regulation

An inspector came to the house to check the damage and begin making an assessment on the floor. While doing his inspection he discovered mold had begun forming in the bathroom cabinet and wall. This now has to be replaced. Then he proceeds to discuss the issue of asbestos, which had been discovered in the floor and removed eight years ago. Wouldn’t you know it, they forgot to check the walls last time and discovered it there too. Cool. So this little flood is turning into quite the ambitious trouble maker. The inspector brought in several industrial fans, HEPA filters, and dehumidifiers and placed them around ground zero.

These fans are loud. Very loud. And they put off a surprising amount of heat, which is exactly what you want in your house during a central California summer heatwave, with temperatures around 110°.

Needless to say, Tova was not enthused. She has been completely dis-regulated and the stress is affecting her. One unexpected side effect of the stress is that it is exhausting and Tova has slept a little better this week. Not a good solution and I really hope we can help her level out. But while the excrement is currently hitting the turbo fans throughout the house, I’ll take the little bit of extra rest while we can.

The novelty of the fans wore off immediately and both girls were terrified of the machines and their noise. They are so loud you have to go outside to hear your own thoughts clearly. Luckily, after a couple days we have grown used to the constant roar and the girls have accepted this new environment. It’s amazing how adaptable kids can be, even when dealing with sensory processing disorder and ASD. Tova is definitely living right on the edge of her ability to cope. Thank God for headphones, a back yard pool, emotional support chickens, and a church office we can find refuge in.

Time to Make a Plan

This impromptu home renovation project is turning into a big ordeal. Demolishing walls, bathrooms, floors, asbestos abatement, putting in new floors. This is not a quick weekend project. This is going to take a while. So we have begun making plans for how to be out of the house for the next couple weeks.

Our first option was to go camping. We love camping and the girls always sleep so well. But Tova has therapy on Monday, Tuesday, and Wednesday. Maybe we can go up after therapy is over? OK, but school starts this week as well. Luckily school is all online this year, we just need to make sure we can get wireless coverage. Of course I have only found two places in which I have full coverage: my church office, and a drive through car wash half way across town. Hopefully we will luck out and get some service in the hills so we can drop a hot spot.

Our other option is to stay in a hotel. As nice as that sounds, having a child with ASD cooped up in one room for two weeks is not ideal. Sure they have a pool (which is closed), and a gym (also closed) and a business center (cool…), but they don’t really have a place for the girls to be loud and get out energy without causing major disruption to other guests and staff. Hotels are great for a day or two but they are definitely not conducive to the needs of children on the spectrum.

Even With the Best Laid Plans

Everything is going to go off the rails. Tova is starting school and that was a waking nightmare under ideal conditions. The added stress of having the entire house looking like the apocalypse has started is wearing on everyone. Tova is doing her best to be a big girl and hold it together. Saoirse is being three and practicing her annoying little sister routine daily. We would love to just get outside and go for a walk or play at the park but parks are closed, the temperature is in the triple digits, and the yearly burning of California is right on time so the air quality is extremely hazardous. Seriously, just being outside is like smoking half a pack of cigarettes.

Those aren’t clouds. That’s the view from our church office of the smoke in the air. Occasionally ash comes down like snow and the sun is a dark red-orange. And its over 100 degrees. So being outside is not an option. But keeping everyone cooped up inside is a recipe for added stress and dis-regulation. Not to mention the air inside your house can be just as unhealthy. Seriously, its a lose lose and its to the point that we laugh just to not cry. It is kinda funny though, in a dark and twisted kinda way.

So Here We Are In Our Regular Dis-Regulation

We spent the weekend moving everything from the pantry and kitchen into the garage and dining room. I moved several truck loads of the girls toys and some furniture to our office at the church because of the asbestos decontamination. We have been frantically doing laundry in preparation for not being able to do a load for a few days. Our camping gear is packed and ready to go. Someone is coming out later to take measurements for the new flooring. Another contractor is coming to look at the bathroom. Looks like work will begin within the next couple days, so we have until then to figure out a game plan…and a plans B through H.

The next two weeks are going to be quite the adventure. I have no idea what is in store for us but I will definitely write more as the situation unfolds. Until then keep posted for the next chapter in this story of regular dis-regulation.